breathless

to get to this point today

i needed

cannabis
good cannabis
rolled into a long thin joint
made with a king size Rizla +
upsold to me by a 16 year old girl
in the Ellecker General Store
when buying.....

"a packet of drum and some papers please....... the blue one..... just above your hand..... no the dark blue one, yes that's it....the 30g please"

"ummm ok why not I'll take some..... hang on, best give me some tally ho's as well... just in case"

but she will soon learn that

people who buy tobacco do not often buy king size papers
and people who buy king size papers do not often buy tobacco

and maybe one day understand that

the last line of text on the inside cover of the Rizla+ papers
is written especially for an certain type of english speaker
who will stumble through a seven line paragraph written in German
before deciding Frankfurt sounds like a place to visit some day...

RIZLA - DAS ERSTE UND IMMER NOCH BESTE ZIGARETTENPAPIER
AND AS WE SAY IN FRANKFURT, "ROLL WITH IT"

and roll with i did

but today i also needed

a cold can of coke

and

3 small white 5mg dexamphetimine tablets

once, twice, three times
i am saving the bottles to make
a lifesize sculpture of myself one day
driving a tank or flying a plane
like a WW2 serviceman addict

stand sentinel men

and coffee
always coffee
three as before

and cigarettes

too many cigarettes
rolled loosely without filters
so as to squint smoke
and sweep tobacco from my lips
like Jean-Paul Belmondo in Breathless



and now that I am at this point in the day

I will lie down on the floor

and pretend i am pulling faces at you while I lay dying